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I Need an Unstable Woman for a Drama-Filled Relationship
Hi there,
I’m seeking a like-minded lady to share a disastrous 3-9 month
relationship, ending in acrimony, emotional chaos, and possibly legal
proceedings.
My name is Lez, I live in Houston. I'm fairly well educated, hold
down a good job, and am pretty stable. I’m told I’m fairly good
looking, but I’ll let you be the judge of that. I’m generally caring
and very honest.
I am looking for an attractive woman who will at first give me
obsessive love, praise, and devotion — but whose paranoia,
self-loathing, and fear of rejection and abandonment will eventually
lead her to alternately push me away and pull me closer in a love/hate
cycle that will lead to infidelity, consensual sexual violence, and the
eventual emotional breakdown of one or other party — or, if we’re lucky
— both!
You should:
* be 20 to 45 years old;
* have a history of short, intense, drama-driven relationships;
* enjoy degrading and dehumanizing sex;
* be willing to threaten self-harm and/or annihilation as a weapon
to control your partner and make her stay with you and care for you.
Although not completely necessary, I would prefer women:
* with nice smiles;
* that have larger than average breasts;
* who are married or already in unstable relationships;
* that drink to forget; and
* who have had a previous established diagnosis of Borderline or Dependent Personality Disorder.
If you think you meet these requirements (and, wow, I’m getting
excited just writing them!), please don’t hesitate to get back to me as
soon as possible. In the meantime, thank you for reading my ad, and do
take care.
All the best,
Lez B.Friendz 
Spiritually Disengaged but Physically Present
My daughter came to visit after being gone for two months. Yes it was only two months… but what she said when she walked into the house will stick with me forever. She said “Mom… I walked into your house, I see you but you’re not here… it’s like you packed up your spirit and shut the doors behind you.”
How often have you pulled totally within yourself to prevent seeing or feeling the real world or the person you’re in a relationship or marriage with?
Be careful when you realize it … after realization comes anger… and it’s a pretty big monster.
Ladies room?
A gentleman had a serious problem. He made several attempts to enter the men's washrooom, but found it to be occupied. A lady noticed that he was walking strangely, taking small steps, and with a look of pain and anxiety on his face.
"Sir," she said, "the ladies room is unoccupied. You may use it only if you promise not to touch the buttons on the wall."
He was about to explode, and would have promised anything, so he agreed to her terms. The relief was pure joy, and as he sat there, savouring the feeling, he noticed the buttons he had promised not to touch. Three white buttons were identified with the letters: WW, WA and PP, and there was one red button labeled ATR.
Who would really know if he touched them? He could not just sit there and resist a challenge like this, so he pushed thw WW button. Warm Water was sprayed gently on his bottom. Such a nice feeling came over him, the men's washroom didn't have nice things like this. Anticipating even greater pleasure, he pressed the WA button.
Warm Air replaced the warm water, wafted and swirled about, gently drying his underside.He knew what he was going to do when the warm air stopped, and without hesitation, he pressed the PP button. A large Powder Puff caressed his bottom, adding a fragrant smell of spring flowers to his unbelievable pleasure.
The ladies room was far more than a restroom, it was a place of tender loving pleasure! He could hardly wait for the powder puff to quit. When it did he pressed what he knew was going to be the ultimate joy!
He knew he was in the hospital room as soon as he opened his eyes. A nurse was staring down at him with a smirk on her face. "What happened? How did I get here? The last thing I remember, I was in the ladies restroom!"
"You pushed too many buttons," replied the nurse, as her smirk expanded to a grin. "That last button marked ATR is an Automatic Tampon Remover.
Looking for real answers to life's real problems?
I went to a website today looking for some real answers today when I came across this unusual question:
I got a tampon stuck in my nose! HELP!!!!?
1. um... pull it out?
2. ur not serious r u
3. Oh, and PS, go get some help, about the tampon (hehe) and your little problem with common sense.
4. soak the tampon with water...hurry!
5. you deserve it for being a moron
6. OMG that's really funny. Sorry. If you can't get it out just by pulling , you might need to go to the emergency room. With a tampon in your nose. He he. He.
7. wow that actually made me laugh out loud
8. Can you post a picture? I gotta see this!
9. wow you have big nostrils
10.Haha that's one of the funniest things I've seen on here. You and the guy that said he got his penis stuck in the fan!
11. I dont see why you would put it up there in the first place!
12. leave it there ... you wouldn't want whats left of your brains to fall out
With answers like these, I'll save my questions for TAL
Submitted by Passionwink Posted on 12 Jul 2008 by TAL
The password is ...
We were playing Password with Carl and Sharon one night. Carl was getting really pissed because Sharon wasn’t taking the game seriously and Carl hated to lose. Sharon thought it was funny, and “it’s just a game,” but when she noticed that Carl had completely lost his sense of humor, she decided to knuckle down and win a round.
The password was “fence.” Carl could barely contain himself, believing he had the perfect clue. It was his turn to go first. He was sure he was going to get all ten points this round. With an air of confidence and a tone of arrogance, he looked Sharon in the eye and announced “picket.”
With a straight face and equally confident, Sharon proudly replied “nose." Posted by - Pink Posted on 12 Jul 2008 by TAL
Add Your Stories
Add your stories here. There are already a few listed under the archives link. Have fun!
TAL Posted on 11 Jul 2008 by TAL
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