WHY AM I ANGRY??

I am an angry lesbian. I am not angry BECAUSE I'm a lesbian but I think being a lesbian has made me angry.

I am angry that lesbian relationships appear to have a timeout factor built into them at EXACTLY 4 years.

I am angry that in the lesbian community your lover is "fair game" to your best friend.

I am angry that exes won't stay exes. Do you not understand that I left you for a reason? I might even HATE you. Do you get it? GO AWAY!

I am angry that you left me with all 7 dogs. (And then went out and bought 3 new ones of your own - immediately.)

I am angry that our sex life also seemed to have an expiration date of 11 months and 29 days.

I am angry that you took off with all my sex toys and you're now using them with my former best friend.

I am angry that I F**KING HATE women and still can't go straight. I hate men that much more.

I am angry that I love women despite the fact that you're all drama queens and you just can't stop whining.

I am angry that I have NO money because I've spent it on all eleven of you. Dammit, you could have at least left the rolling pin. You took everything else in the house. You remember that early morning visit don't you? The one where you came into the house at 1:00 a.m. with my former best friend, did your laundry, and packed boxes? Yes, this is the work night when I tried to sleep on the couch since you drained the f**king water bed just to be the BITCH that you are. How I appreciate you so. The memories flood over me still. (IN WAVES OF ANGER)

I am ANGRY ANGRY ANGRY! I don't think I'll ever Stop being angry. I am a lesbian and that very fact means I deserve to be angry! I am the ANGRY LESBIAN.

Signing Off,
The Angry Lesbian