Crazy Visions
Run through my head at the strangest times

During therapy yesterday, I started talking and my Doctor started writing furiously. Suddenly, I get the vision that instead of listening, she's writing her "to do" and grocery lists. So, giggling, I ask her "What are you writing? Cuz I really think you're doing your grocery list?" Somehow, I find this hysterical and pulling her leg makes me laugh that much more.

I see the look of shock come over her face and she says, "I'll read it to you. I'm writing down what you say because it helps me focus this late in the day." I decline her offer and explain my whacked vision. I'm certain she's now classified me as ready for the Loony Bin.

This happens to me constantly. I can be standing in a client's cubical and suddenly something completely absurd and unrelated hits my brain and I'll just start laughing. Then, I have to explain what vision I just had. Most of my customers think I'm insane too but it's usually good for a laugh.


And since I'm in Technical Support, as I cruise through the halls at 125 mph, they will stop me and say, "I have a question?" I never wait for the question, I just respond, "How many times must I repeat myself....NEVER on the first date!!!" Okay, I can only do this to the Select Few, but they usually laugh at me just the same. Perhaps a Sexual Harassment Suit will fill out my year nicely? People will SUE for the stupidest things.


I heard on the radio this morning that a lady is suing a hotel chain for Bed Bug Bites she got while staying with them...the amount $20 million dollars. She had approximately 500 bites. If I did the math correctly, that's $40,000 per bite. Them's some expensive little bastards, I will say that. Shit, I would have bitten her 500 times for $100 each. Of course, she would have to PAY ME. Maybe after she wins her suit, she can afford to hire ME for an "old time's sake" reminder of HOW SHE GOT SO FUCKING RICH.

But, once again, I digress. I really do enjoy my therapy sessions. Most of the time, I laugh through them even when the Doc points out that what I'm laughing at really ISN'T funny. How do I manage to see the humor in all the FUCKED UP SHIT that happens around me? I will never know but I will always consider it a true gift from God. When I signed the check this week, in the notes section of the check, I wrote: HS.

Puzzled, she looked at me... head going from side to side. (Kinda like our dogs do when they're confused.) I looked up and said "Head Shrinking". She laughed at this one, too.

Ah and I almost forgot the best part...she gets even with me, too. During our session she said, "I'm going to ask you now to be two people, the very young person and the adult person now. Yes, that's right, let's split your personality and then, I'm going to abandon you." I laughed my friggin' ass off.

Signing Off,

The Shrunken Head Angry Lesbian
03/09/06