Translations by The Angry Lesbian
"A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush."
Stay with yo' bitch. There's a damn good chance no one else will like you
anyway.
"A penny saved is a penny earned"
Uh, Ben. The penny is earned before it can either be spent or saved. Besides,
haven't you heard? They're trying to yank the penny right outta the U.S.
currency all together. Oh that's right. You're dead. My bad.
"Everything in moderation."
Like hell, you say. My ex brother-in-law works in the ER. He says the big-ass
body builders come through there just as dead as the fat guy on the gurney
right next to them. He concludes, eat whatever the hell you want. When your
body decides the time is up, it's up! So, Party On!
"Love your enemies. It really pisses them off!"
Or, if this bores you and you don't feel like loving them: post nekkid pictures
of them on the Internet, turn on their sprinklers while they are away on
vacation, write ASSHOLE in their manicured lawn with Roundup, and/or sign
them up for all the Sex Toy catalogues you can find. A Gay Mag subscription
for a Hetero male might not be a bad idea either. The wife is bound to wonder
what in the hell is going on.
"If the universe has any purpose more important than topping a woman
you love and making a baby with her hearty help, I have never heard of it."
--Rabert A. Henlein Lazarus Long
K. I'm still trying to decide if I love this quote or hate it. Topping a
woman and making babies? Hum? First part sounds good. I'm not so sure about
the second. Practicing is good, I think. Getting RESULTS...not so much.
TAL
(The Angry Lesbian)
7/23/06