Cell Phones
And Text Pages....

I just love cell phones for their text messaging functionality. Never mind that they drop calls at ninety to nothing. Please get THAT part of the technology down guys, will ya?

One of my FAVORITE things to do is to text message someone while they are sitting right there beside me - totally unaware of my activity because they are engaged in conversation elsewhere.

Last weekend, some friends went out to celebrate the birthday of a very lovely young lady and a NUT case in her own right. She's a cutie, that one.

Sitting beside my equally jacked up friend, a true SMART ASS, I sent the following text: "You want me, don't you?" And yes, she was sitting right beside her lover at the time.

I heard nothing, guess the phone was set to vibrate, but I saw her get this look on her face, reach into her pocket and yank out the phone. She read my text message, laughed her ass off and showed it to her girl (who also laughed) cuz they both know I'm a JACK ASS who loves to yank on people. The phone was then passed around the table, I was declared INSANE and we continued eating our Burgers.

Later, we all went to a drag show. Boy, the Drag Queens have gained some poundage over the last 15 years. I thought, "GIRL, the girdle is NOT doing it. Call Jenny Craig. Really, Call NOW." But the show was good all the same.

Don't know what made me do it during the show, but I pulled out my phone and saw that a message had come in.

"Like a BITCH in Heat!"

I spit beer on the people in front of me. (Not really but it makes good copy and it COULD have happened.)

Like I said, my bud is a certifiable NUT. I should know better than to go toe to toe with one who can slay me.

The Text Messagin', Angry Lesbian
09/08/06