How To Tell If You're Dating
A Real Lesbian

Is your girl a true muff diver? Or is she like one of those porn chick lezbos I scream at on the tv screen. I'm like "bitch, you're five Feet from the thing. Get up in IT. Your face should come outta there looking like you just got a deluxe facial at Le Spa."

Okay, so a TRUE LESBIAN should own what I call the Muff Diving Snorkel kit so she can stay down there for hours. (Any good MAN should own one too) If you don't have one in your own home, you can improvise. Two krazy straws and some duct tape ought to do it. Do I really need to give instructions on how to attach the kit? Tell me you're not that stupid.

Anyway, if yo' bitch does not Munch Carpet, chances are you are not dating a TRUE LESBIAN. You might want to bail now before she makes that ever-so- famous leap back over to "man-land."





Signing Off,

The Angry Lesbian
11/08/05