My Purpose
In Life is Finally Clear!

I have finally discovered the purpose for my life and for my even being on this Planet at all. It appears that I am a LOVE potion - for OTHER people.
Back in my "Pre-lesbionic" days as I like to call them, my mom and I started counting this weird phenomenon that kept happening. There were no less than FIVE guys who married the very next girl they dated after me.

Counter that with my ability to send "lesbians" sailing back to the other side and marrying the guys they hook up with next. It's just plain ODD. Odd I tell you!!!

I'm thinking I should capitalize on this innate ability of mine. Surely there's a market out there for it. You know, frustrated mothers with 36-year-old sons who just won't bite the bullet and go for the wedding-party thing. And then, likely targets are those frantic parents pulling their hair out over their daughters' gayness.

I'll start small. I'm thinking eBay and Five Major Metropolitan Newspapers. So the advertisement will read something like this.

"Is it time for your son to get married? Is your daughter hanging out with "girls" who actually scare you because they look so much like men? Do you have a sneaking suspicion she might be a lesbian? Give me six months to two years with either your son or your daughter and I guarantee a MIRACULOUS conversion or your money back. Call 1-800-555-5555 to discuss rates. I am absolutely the best in the business. Many references available."

My crazy friend from Boston says I'm damn lucky that I know my purpose. She says many people skate through life and never have any idea what they are here for. You know, I think she's RIGHT.

Signing Off,

The Angry Lesbian with a Purpose Driven Life
11/29/05