Lovely
I Saw My Dear Friends Tonight

So, my dearest friends hauled my sorry ass out of my house tonight. The singer, brilliant singer, we worked with from 1993 to 1996 performed this evening. She has certified me as a "Fruit Loop" due to the content of this site. It was so good to see her, hug her, hear her again.

Still, it was hard being at the old haunts knowing my former "lover" lies in the arms of another tonight. Out on the back patio, I told several gals about this site and invited them to visit. Somehow, I know they will ALL relate.

I feel that I have gained another friend back who had left long ago. I stupidly tried to warn her about someone she was totally in love with several years ago. We fought and fought and became alienated. Tonight, she was my champion. She kept trying to tell me that it was NOT ME. That I had done nothing wrong. You see, she and her lover are part of our "couples" crowd who always went out for Sushi. I have missed her desperately and I feel so grateful to count her among my friends again.

And on another note, Thanksgiving was a HOOT. I had never really come out to my dad before. He asked where my girl was and I gave the "cut across the throat" motion at him. He seemed genuinely sad for me. So now that it was all out on the table, it just got worse.

Dad started talking about Miss Manners and how you can lay your hand across the table just this certain way without being crass. He expressed that the elbow on the table was off limits. Sitting to my left he proclaimed, "See, I can do this with my hand and I'm NOT queer."

I quipped back "Well, that makes ONE of us!" The entire table came down in laughter....17 year old and 21 year old nephews and all. I have the best freaking family on the entire PLANET.

And on yet another note, it's not that I fault "my girl" for wanting to explore other options. I am NOT everything. It's just the WAY she did it. She promised me that I could trust her and to stop worrying so much. She PROMISED she would tell me. And yet, it all went down this awful, horrible way. Is there anyone OUT THERE who can just be honest at the risk of hurting someone else? It's so much LESS hurtful in the long run....if you just speak the truth. Then, at least, the other person can decide what THEY want to do too.

Signing Off,

The Healing Angry Lesbian
11/25/05