Lavender
The Consolation Prize


Not too long ago, one of my ex girlies sent me a Lavender plant for no apparent reason. This, I thought, was a nice gesture. But then, I really started thinking, ...was this not merely my consolation prize? I mean, he's got the pussy and I've got the PLANT.

So indulge me here while I mull this over a bit.

Pussy?
Plant?
Plant?
Pussy?
Pussy?
Plant?
Hum????

Ah...this WAS a consolation prize because after all, I played the game but did NOT win. I can't really fuck a Lavender plant, now can I? Oh...I guess I COULD but then, I'd be in one of those nice, stylish, white jackets with the sleeves that tie in back. I'd be in this place called BELLVUE with a really nice smelling twapper.


So on to another fun subject. I had dinner tonight with a really funny girl who happens to be a coworker and we were talking about quirks. She explained a couple of hers while I stared at my beer pondering mine. Oddly, at that moment, I couldn't list them all. Then, she talked about her little daughter and how she's afraid of going into strange or new bathrooms. Her little one will NOT go alone.


We decided it probably doesn't even have anything to do with trauma since she's sure that her daughter has never experienced anything traumatic in a bathroom before. Are quirks after all, just QUIRKS???


Something about her next statement just went all over me and I nearly fell off the bar stool.


"See", she said. "There's something about the misfiring of the neurons in the brain and the next thing you know, you're SCARED of TOILETS. Talk about quirks!"

Maybe you HAD to be there, but I found the observation particularly funny. We as humans really are an ODD bunch. And her DELIVERY of the statement was probably the funniest part of the whole thing.


And to my friend who is much younger but far wiser than I will ever be, "HAPPY 30th BIRTHDAY.....BITCH!!!!!!"

Heh Heh.

Seriously, I hope you have the best one EVER.

And Mom, Happy 73rd Birthday to you, too!!!


Signing Off,

The "Neuroneous" Angry Lesbian
Quirks and All
06/22/06

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