Cat Juggling
Once upon a time, I had roommates who lived with me who had a couple of cats. These augmented my collection of three, so all total, we had FIVE cats in the house.
I noticed my curtains were looking a little ragged and kinda scratched my head but contemplated no more. One night at about 2:30 a.m., I cruised through the living room toward the kitchen to get some water. I glanced left and saw a kitty collection hanging at various levels from my curtains. AH...mystery solved. That site proved one of the most surreal realities I have ever observed. Fifteen years later - Kitty Curtains still remain stuck in my head. (Uh, they scattered when I screamed at them.)
So...in an effort to get even, I found ways to torment these cats. After all, my precious curtains were in shreds.
Shopping bags were a particular favorite of one cat. If I'd toss one on the ground, she'd jump in there and start farting around. Suddenly, you'd see a brown paper bag skittering across the floor...odd, but funny.
On THE DAY, Kitty had jumped into a brown bag with handles so I nabbed it and began swinging it back and forth gently. She didn't seem to mind, so I stepped it up a bit. And then, I began doing complete circles from ground to ceiling to ground again with her in it. In my excitement (and hers), I took a step or two back from the dining room to the transition into the living room. I forgot that at that particular point, the ceiling divider dropped about two feet.
Imagine our surprise when the next rotation yielded a dead stop at the top of my swing, and the cat came flying out of the bag and landed smack dab on top of my head. She was spitting and clawing and yelling. My hair was flying, my scalp getting shredded and me laughing and yelling in surprise at the same time.
So...now you can see WHY I found the story about Cats As Weapons on Craig's List so particularly funny. I found a way to launch a kitty as a projectile onto MY HEAD all on my own.
The Kitty Launching Angry Lesbian
07/24/06