Fathead

In sadistic older sibling fashion, I tortured my brother and sister growing up. One holiday, we sat around making fun of the many ways I found to get at them. Honestly, I felt bad about it so I went home and wrote this song for them...mainly my brother - since he caught the brunt of it.

Be warned, I bounced this down from cassette tape, so it's not the best of recordings and there is a place where the audio dips. The file is almost 4MB so please be on a high speed link when you listen. I hope you find it funny. My brother almost crashed his truck as he listened to it for the first time.

The Fathead Song
(Click the link to hear the song)

"Fathead" Lyrics

My brother's a fathead, yeah, he's a fathead, I really hate him
Cuz he's a SchmatHead
My little brother's a pest
My little brother's a pest

My dad used to tell me he was going to be in a Mental Institution
if I didn't back off and quit calling him a fathead (FATHEAD)
But I didn't really care because I was a mean little snotty bitch
and I wished he was dead

He doesn't know, he doesn't know just what he's gonna do
WAAAAAAA, he's cryin' all the time because I call him a fathead
Oh fathead, yeah fathead
He's crying all the time cuz he's got the square head thing goin' on

I can't help it if he looks like Frankenstein
He's got bolts coming out of his neck
He gets in my room and messes
All my stuff up
And now if wish my little brother was dead [voice 1]
My little brother's a pest [voice 2]

blah blah blah blah
You look like Charlie Brown or somethin'
blah blah blah

My sister looked like a penguin
I didn't like her very much either
In fact, I think I made more fun of her

ohhhhh, They're both in Mental Institutions and I'm fine.
And I wish I was there with them visiting ...NOOOOTTTT
I still hit them all the time...yeah..Fathead and Penguin Face.

Hey, wait a minute. My brother's a Surgeon
And my sister's a Lawyer
And I work at Burger King
Something's not right with this picture
It was my father who told me my Fathead brother would end up in
the Mental Institution, not me.

They let me out, it wasn't too long ago but this is what
I get for calling them Fatheads. Don't ever call your brother and sister
a Fathead. Don't call 'em a Fathead, don't call 'em a Penguin, don't hit
'em, don't kick 'em, don't do ANYTHING or you'll end up just like me.

IT'S AWFUL.

I can barely hold down a job at this Burger King. The Fry vat puts me under stress, pulling Coca-Colas makes me nervous!

Ma! Where's my valium.

HELP!!!

All rights reserved (like you'd want it anyway)

The Torturing Angry Lesbian

11/05/06