Face Off
Back when I was still repairing computers, some of the employees and I would hang around in the television room at lunchtime watching Court T.V. This one guy was testifying before the judge and said, "Your Honor, if he said that, he was lying his face off!" I nearly peed in my pants as I'd never heard THIS saying before. (The show was being taped in New York)
One person turned to me and said, "I'll bet lots of people 'lie their faces off' when it comes to you repairing their computers, huh?"
"You bet they do. One guy brought me a laptop and said it wouldn't run anymore. As I yanked it out of the bag, I distinctly smelled bourbon as it wafted straight up into my face."
"Did you spill anything into this laptop?", I inquired.
"No," he said flatly.
I do believe he was lying his face off.
And then I began to tell our little group about the service calls I'd go on where people would NOT FUCKING STOP TALKING! (I once had a girlfriend like this, too.) In these cases, I had read the trouble ticket and had a pretty good idea of exactly how to fix the thing, yet they insisted on explaining it all again. After awhile, all I would hear was "yap, yap, yap, yap....."
"How did you STAND it?", they all wanted to know.
I told them that in my mind I would think, "I’m going to go to someplace Pretty now, far..far...away from here." And when the yapping would finally stop, I'd come back from wherever I had Astral Projected and fix the damn thing the way I had originally planned.
Most of these people were LYING THEIR FACES OFF, too!
Signing Off,
The Lovin' New Yorkers
Angry Lesbian
07/14/07