Tonight I Feel
So Terribly Broken

I wasn't going to post this evening. Struggling through the day, I managed to find some laughter with a couple of kooky clients of mine. One lady from Boston always makes me laugh because she's so outrageously funny. She tells stories about her Italian upbringing (much like mine). The other, a young lady, now shares my secret which I hope she will keep. You see, my coworkers know about my "orientation" and what I'm going through. Even the men are cool about it. But, I'm not so sure everyone else in the building would be quite so understanding.

I think women get scared of Lesbians. Could she be coming on to ME? Uh...no. When we know you're straight, those of us with a single brain cell left in the old skull - leave you alone.

So, today I told the story of knowing "When to Leave Your Therapist". I am not BUTCH by any means but I'm not the most feminine of petite flowers either. After several sessions with my then "therapist" she finally says to me, "Why can't you be more feminine?" The absurdity of my OWN THERAPIST not accepting me for exactly who I am sent me mentally running out the door screaming. In real life, I never returned. I think I left more fucked up than when I came into the whole thing.

I have another very dear friend who has struggled with her own issues of fidelity. One day she said to me, "I am a really honest person. I never lie except when I'm cheating." I laughed over this statement for about 3 days. In fact, I still laugh about it when it comes to mind. People are so tragically funny especially when they DON'T KNOW that they're being hilarious. I love her dearly and now I think she's finally gotten her shit straight. In fact, she met her beloved accompanying me on a blind date since I was scared mindless to attend this "date". So see, sometimes things do work out after all.



Signing Off,

The Angry Lesbian
11/03/05