ABC
is NOT for Me
A Tale of TWO
therapists
I'm so messed
up that tonight I met with a Counselor AND a Therapist. You know you're
bad when they have to double up on you. We defined what's NOT working for
me. A B C
A: My first
interview question. Are you adopted? You girls have ISSUES. 98% of you are
more messed up than I am. You can't attach to anyone yet you have abandonment
issues. So, if you say "yes" to the A test, you'll see one PHAT
chick high-tailing it for the hills at a rate you never thought possible
for one so large.
B: Are
you Bi-Sexual? You bitches always go back to the dark side once you're done
with me. (And actually some of you go back BEFORE you're done with me -
not nice) I long ago made the decision that I was no longer a penis jockey.
The penis itself isn't so bad but why does it always have to be attached
to an asshole?
C: The therapist came up with this one...."cracked". Are
you crazy? Do you cheat on people because you just can't help it? Are ya
just horny? Is there something fundamentally wrong with you? Or did you
just do it to prove how cracked you are to get rid of me?
So you see, if you answer affirmative to any or all of the ABCs, you'd swear
I was a ghost. A real person couldn't possibly disappear that fast.
Signing Off,
Sadder than ever,
The Angry Lesbian
10/26/05